I'll tell you my sins
by jennttmab
Summary: How the confrontation between Jenny and Gibbs might have played out after she showed up for the first time in 'Kill Ari Part 1'. Vaguely AU, inspired by the chorus of 'Take Me To Church' by Hosier. Jibbs.


I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

She stood in front of him heels in hand; chin thrust up defiantly, emerald green eyes meeting his cold glare.

"I don't regret it Jethro" she intoned, her low voice carrying easily across the room.

She saw the steel in his eyes and trembled internally, her resolve almost crumbling into nothing. She'd imagined this moment many times, planned carefully what she'd say, how she'd defend her seemingly selfish decision to place her career above all else, leaving behind only a note in coat pocket. It was only now, standing in front of him like this that she realised she'd forgotten one crucial point when planning how this moment would play out. The fact that after all these years she was still in love with him.

"That's not exactly a surprise _Jennifer'_ he replied, his worlds crueller than she'd expected, "your career always had to take priority".

Something in that, probably the honesty of the statement or the deliberate use of her full name, made her angry, angrier than she'd been since she discovered the truth about his first marriage.

'That _Jethro_ is complete bollocks and you know it'

As always, there was a retort on his lips, "your precious politicians on the hill don't think so do they Jen? How many times have you been called the 'ice queen' in the last five years?"

Too many times she thought to herself, she was well aware of her reputation. She'd used it herself more than once to chase away an unwelcome suitor who had been getting far too close, gradually building up a near impenetrable wall of ice.

At least _I_ haven't been divorced three times, are there any redheads you _haven't_ married" she retorted, disregarding the voice that told her this was too far, not caring how much she hurt him.

She saw the flash of anger in his eyes immediately, and began to regret her words as he advanced across the room to where she stood, towering over her.

"Jennifer" he spoke, voice dangerously soft, "don't try and shift the blame, _you_ left _me_ remember. You left me on a plane, with a half – finished 'Dear John' letter, no explanation and no contact for half a decade, until you show up _as my_ _boss"._

Still staring into the blue eyes she'd known so well, she searched for the suggestion he could forgive her, that she hadn't irrevocably ruined everything after all. For a moment she thought she saw a flicker of something, empathy perhaps, but then it was gone. He crossed the room to slump into the chair behind her desk, a show of power that was more effective than perhaps he knew.

And so she stood there, in front of _her_ desk, roles momentarily returned to how they had been previously. It was as if all the years, and the experience that had come with them, were stripped away. She once again felt like a green probie, fresh from FLETC, trying to explain just how she'd mislaid the evidence from her first major crime scene. It wasn't a feeling she liked, too open to his eyes for comfort, and for a minute it was as if her sins, the ways she'd hurt him, were laid out for him to see, and more importantly to judge.

She was jolted from her reverie by his next words, a simple question.

"Why Jen?"

Unfortunately, she knew exactly what he meant.

"I was so _young_ Jethro, everything was moving so fast, and… I don't know, I was _scared!_ I Iove… loved you, you know I did, but that's not always enough"

"Would've been enough for me Jen"

"I _know_ that, but you still don't understand how it felt, I… I was in love with you, and I wasn't in control! I have a plan, you _know_ I do and _getting married to my boss at twenty-three_ was not part of that!"

"So in the end it all comes down to your damn nine - point plan, that's why you left? Jen I would have waited for you; we didn't have to have a shotgun wedding!'

She knew that, was well aware that if she'd only spoken to him about this that it all could have been so different.

"Is it too late?"

The question slipped away from her before she could stop it, breaking the uneasy silence.

"I don't know Jen, we're not the same people we were five years ago!"

"But we could try?"

"I thought there wasn't going to _be_ any off the job?"

She blushed at that, she always had been too stubborn for her own good

"That was stupid Jethro, I… I thought you wouldn't respect me"

"You must be kidding Jen, you're one of the best agents I've ever worked with"

"So…"

He tilted his head at her, 'yes Jen, we can try".

Fin.

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good, God let me give you my life


End file.
